anubis

Test

2010-02-28T08:50:00.000-08:00

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor.”

“Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,”

Mike replies.
“There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . A lot cheaper than a doctor.”

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to

Wal-Mart, eager
to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and a waits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart

Condom

2010-02-28T08:46:00.000-08:00

General Musharaf, President of Pakistan was awoken at 4am by the telephone.

'Jannab, its the Minister of Health here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Rawalpindi has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire Pakistani supply of condoms will be gone by the end
of the week.'

Musharaf: 'What a disaster! The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies- we'll be ruined!'

Minister: 'We're going to have to ship some condoms in from abroad.'

Musharaf: 'Afghanistan?'

Minister: 'No chance!! The tabloids will have a field day on this one!

Musharaf: 'What about India?'

Minister: 'Maybe- but we don't want them to know that we are stuck.
Call the Indian Prime Minister, Singh tell him we need one million condoms;
coloured gold and green; ten inches long and eight inches thick! That way
they'll know how big the Pakis really are!!'

Miyan Musharaf called Singh, who agreed to help the Pakis out in their hour of need.
Three days later a flight arrived in Islamabad- full of boxes.

A delighted Gen. Musharaf rushed out to open the boxes. He found condoms;
10 inches long; 8 inches thick, all colored green and gold.

He then noticed in small writing on each and every one

MADE IN INDIA
SIZE: SMALL

Excuses Excuses !!

2010-02-28T08:30:00.000-08:00

A married couple at the Zoo walk past the gorilla enclosure. Says the woman: " Mark , do you know that gorillas are the only animals which resemble men in their behaviour"?

"Look, see that no one is looking and I'll expose one of my breasts to it and just watch how horny it gets, just as you men do".

Mary then exposes one of her breasts, and, sure enough the gorilla begins to get a hard-on and grabs the bars of the enclosure as if it wanted to break free. "See" says the woman, "Now I know why you react the way you do, men can't control their animal instincts, just as gorillas can't".

Says Mark : "Now expose both breasts and let's see what happens".

The woman exposes both breasts to the gorilla and it gets now even more excited and is now desperately trying to escape the enclosure.

Says Mark : "This is incredible, now pull your skirt up, turn around and expose your bum to it and let's see what happens!!!"

The woman pull her skirt up turns around with her bum to the gorilla which by now, extremely aroused, bends the bars apart and breaks free of the cage, grabs the woman and starts tearing her clothes off....

The woman yells: " Mark , what do I do now? Please, help me!!!"

Mark replies: "Well, why don't you give him one of those excuses that you usually give me:

......That you don't feel like it;
That you have a headache;
That you're tired;
That your throat is aching;
That I must understand you as a woman;
That you are depressed;
That it's one of 'those' days;
That you are having a very busy week;
That all you need is just to cuddle;
That you're all tense;
That you have to wake up very early tomorrow;
That you woke up very early today;
That you walked for so long and your feet are aching;
That caresses and hugs is all that you want today;
That you're so tense that all you want is a good massage to make you relax;
That you feel like watching TV;
That you don't wanna miss the soaps;
That you've just come from the hair salon and therefore you can't do it and ruin your hair........ ....."

............ ."Go on..... explain all that to the gorilla and if he understands, then I agree that we men are just like animals when it comes to sex!!!"

migraine

2009-10-04T08:09:00.000-07:00

04.10.09 - having severe migraine.
Not really sure what is the proximate cause but it really hit me bad.
Normally, only right eye ball feel the strained but how awfully, my left eye ball was screaming. Not knowing why, feeling nausea. With cool melon powder still remain in mouth.

This is the first time, feeling someone is squashing my eye ball. Yes. Squashing. The tense is to immerse till i cant really open or close my both eyes.

Weird.. getting and growing old is as good as getting weirder?

Coupe

2009-09-23T04:24:00.000-07:00

Who cares about what her parent said, who cares what hers friend said.They will bear with it.

Your life, you decide what you want to do, until you get married you have to listen to your wife.

:-)

Break up

2009-09-23T04:08:00.000-07:00

Whenever and wherever there break up, guys are the one to be blamed. Shouldn’t gals do take some responsibility after all relationship form from mutual souls.

How do you force yourself to live with someone you don’t like not talking abt love.

Cmon.. give guys a damn break. Not every relationship falls due to moron insensitive guy, be accountable for your own sins.

Please dont keep bitching on how hard you try to salvage your relationship and how ignorance he cling on it. When the relationship shouldnt be existed at initial stage.

Please....it takes two to tango if relationship is suck, why be together at first place. Why not just have a fling or casual sex, kinky.. quickie or whatever God damn name to call it a day??

Watched few screens of a HK movie and sort of fond with one of the scripts....

2009-05-10T08:20:00.000-07:00

Watched few screens of a HK movie and sort of fond with one of the script, if death would be the worst obstacle, what else can be worst than that. It was about a young female who infected or more precise borne with bone marrow cancer. According to the doctor in the movie, 9 out of 10 patients would not make it. But apparently she is the luckiest one. Nevertheless, those happy moments would not last forever as during her prime age coincidently, at that material time she was in love with her neighbour. I’m not sure much about the details of the neighbour, but based ending, I understand the male neighbour was a hot tempered person and suffering sort of depression due to breaking up his gf whom also same hot tempered like him. It won’t always works; using fire to put off fire.

But what I wish to emphasize here would be more on the script instead of the story line. It’s like in the Braveheart movie when the William Wallace going to be crucify and Milady unable to bear to see them trying to set him free or beg for mercy but he resist to do so saying something like he willing to die in living instead of living in death.

Before that I watched a “makan-makan” serial. Pertaining to recommendation of food and beverage mainly on food in Malaysia. In the episode, I managed to observe the food they had and last message would be, no matter how expensive or how great the food is; the simplest is the best. In the end, they conclude the episode by ordering plain rice. At that moment I was wondering whether we eat because we need to eat or more to what we want to eat. Perhaps when our pocket is good we eat what we want, whilst when our pocket is flat, we only manage to eat to fulfill our need.

All these drama / movie nothing much but make me more confused:-

1. To me, the sick female able to survive as she refuse to accept the “reality” and her life is prolonged and when the cancer cell strike back, and she gave in. Her life could never be prolonged anymore. So the actual cause of death would be her thinking and mental?

2. In Braveheart, is the director trying to tell us that we are living in death whereby our mind so saturated with society or community ideal concept. We must work for living?

3. Do we really need to “consume” those organics? Our cell can be cultured and maintained forever should there is no digestion taking into place. By having digestion, or during digestion itself, the remit dangerous gases and also hazardous “output”. Should each and every cell could be nurtured, thence eating wont takes place and the joy of scarifying other creature on the planet earth would end too.

Long lost moment

2009-05-04T05:54:00.000-07:00

Created : Monday, April 27, 2009 12:21:00 AM

Yesterday or perhaps today, have a communication with a long lost classmate. We were in same music class. Learning authentic Chinese musical instruments. Nevertheless, the moment is relatively short as we have to pursue our separate path of life.

One by one Christian calendar changed yet we still have not met ever again since the last song taught in the class. Surprisingly, we still manage to keep in touch virtually till todate. However, only recently we exchanged our personal details unlike normal mundane routine which keep on teasing each and another.

What a tough lady she is? No wonder she always seemed to be happy go lucky type. Everyone have their another side of their life which they hardly shed upon the light. What is the extent would depend on each and everyone context and content. There will be never too shallow neither too deep which beyond normal human comprehension.

From the conversation of few hours, which if not mistaken till 4++ am talking to the sick lady until she started coughing none stop and need to let her body to conquer her. I guess she must be quite unique or rather stubborn in nature.

During Form 1, she was deeply mad about a team-mate of her volleyball team. She described that during the material time, she was super fanatic towards volleyball. Whether towards the guy in the club or really about games I still unable to distinguish the same. Perhaps, I may able to do so in days to come. According to her, she and the guy were closed and almost able to share everything and anything without much talking until one day, the guy father misunderstood and warned her not to engage into any relationship with his son saying they were too young to indulge in any.

She sort of stunned, confused and didn’t know how to react. Well, I wish I was there to watch her funny face in such awkward scenario yet my luci-sense tell me she is flattered after all she indeed had crush on that charmed guy. However unlike the Disney fairy tales with everlasting happy moment, the charm guy just walked away from her life entirely without given any shed of shadow as trail. This was one of days which painted in dark. It is like waking on the next day without any arms and legs yet have to continue with the normal mundane routine.

Alone, yet not being lonely she carried the task of the club and bringing the entire comrade to strive to the very best to be reputable club in the season. I’m not sure how or what she did, but from what I understood in the past her school indeed had quite strong team but not sure about the management of the team especially her involvement. Nevertheless, let give benefit of the doubts whereby the club become better with her involvement. That would be one of the jovial and achievement of her life.

As the normal gals, her studies did not just end on the secondary. She pursued further to college which far and near with me without realizing we are in such a distance. But before the story move in to the college, that was the moment we met. The impression I have is rather vague but you can easily notice she is a nice little gal. Maybe at that material time we are still decent and pure. Well let’s back to the original spotlight.
During the college, she revealed that she learnt another instrument call “gu-cheng”. What I understand those instrument is best to be learnt / mastered during childhood. Another amazing moment occurred. The musician teacher was extremely young and about at her age plus 12 yet managed to replace the volleyball charmed guy. As I also do not have very good memories on the transpired, I rather skipped some of the details instead of giving any misleading facts of life.

As a normal growing girl, she always anticipates to attend the music class and she even purposely learn a song (I can’t remember the name of the song) to dedicate the same to the teacher. During practices and playing, she managed to feel their souls interconnected like the Red Cliff 1, however this is not about war but interconnection between souls. That was the moment which I doubt she could forget. Love is in the air or perhaps someone should put a board, “Please do not disturb - romance in making”.

Since there is age gap of 12 years, she surely will not gain any blessing from her orthodox family on the other hand, it is quite disturbing in our society to have a teacher having an affair with the student. Be that as it may, these did not hold her back. She struggles to find a way to deliver her message to her teacher. Occasionally, via the rhymes. She felt the teacher managed to receive her hints as well as his avoidance. Being the descendent of stubbornness and after building up her courage, she texts him sms about her feeling yet those sms-es are like one way train which never comes back. It takes two to tango. Tangoing alone was tiring and hurting. Misfortune never ends by single event.

Living lonely with a hurt heart, another bad news submerged and crushing her even deepens. Someone whom she loves and cares was in critical condition. She is her mum whom mentally ill resultant from recuperating from operation. Being alone left unattended leading her mum thinking occupied with all sort of negative thinking. Leading her mum to think herself as a burden to the family and over period of time, her mum mentally snapped and broke. She was in the state of depression with few unsuccessful suicides. Having made known to her on such eccentric incident, she was unable to bear this as she loves her mum very much and due to that she spent a whole year companying her mum to overcome this. Aside of companying her mum, she herself also recuperating her fragile hurt heart.

Depression, it has become more common to strike to those female which after menopause. Perhaps during that moment, the hormone generated insufficient to cater the need of the individual resulting side effect which is depression which is one of them beside other illness. However, the sad part about depression, there are no permanent cure. Indeed the word “Prevention is better than cure”. In this instance, the “cure” only temporary and shall the patient being left alone again without proper attention, the depression will strike back and it would be even harder to overcome. Thank God, according to her, currently her mum is fully occupied with her sisters / brothers children. I guess her mum will now complain instead of being burden to the family, she has too little time for herself. 

After her mum getting better and healthier regardless physically or mentally, she pursues her studies in Beijing. If you have time and free band allocation, perhaps you may land to her Friendster url to check up her photo. She look happily go lucky and enjoying her moment of life there. Well, as a normal student, the campus life would not last forever. After she finished her studies, she returned and occasionally met up with her old gangsta that would inclusive her best friend ex-Boy friend (bfxBf). Actually, they have been contacting each other since her best friend broken up with her ex-bf. After all the bfxBf also apart of her gangsta. As a normal human being and after a period of time of interaction, sometimes unexpected spark of love would trigger. It happened everywhere and there is no exception in this instance. However the ending of this part would be a bit awkward as according to her, on her last conversation with him almost a year ago, she express her feeling to bfxBf, but she never follow up on his reply. Oppsss…. I have skipped the part that they have been MSN-ing each other as their mode of communication. It is normal for Gen-Y.

Well, that’s about it the snippet of historical conversation us via msn and looking forward for more chapters of life. I hope the next would be more on happy moment of life or unforgettable memoires or even something that she could cherish when she sitting on rocking chair at her retirement age.

Watching a movie named Uninvited

2009-04-26T09:39:00.000-07:00

The synopsis of the movie which I read from the newspaper and tabloid is rather differing from what I watched. What I understand from the movie is the youngest daughter called Anna angry towards his father whom screwing a nurse whom supposed to look after her dying mother.

As the result of that, her thereafter action was blinded with carelessness letting the gasoline (I’m not sure what it is, but it surely highly flammable) tank dripped which cause a massive fire cum explosion resulting her sick mother and sister in the boat house burnt to death.

As the result of the incident, she was sent to seek asylum as she suffered depression and keep trying to commit suicide. After 10 months undergone the treatment, she was discharged by the psychiatric and returned home to be together with her father and newly girlfriend. When she reached home, she still kept on dreaming on the past and hallucinated and to cut the details short, she killed her future step mother in the end.

Well, Anna look so decent and naïve. She did not look like any freak or psycho pat at all. Perhaps, anger and denial awaken her inner one which caused the split personalities and it was strengthen by hallucination.

Actually, I believe each and everyone of us living with controlled split personalities, only certain person reach the extreme whereby they themselves unable to comprehend they action in the so called reality life. They just confused with community reality and his /hers own world.

There are no rights or wrong, but definitely the depressed need lot of attention, care and love are needed to bring them back to “our world”. But will them will be happier in “our world”?

Still Thought

2009-04-12T04:00:00.001-07:00

Parenting

2009-04-12T03:36:00.000-07:00

To understand how's parenting like, this would be one of the best clips to show.

Funny yet it's the truth! (amended)

2009-04-12T03:28:00.000-07:00

CANT BELIEVE I ABLE TO WRITE THIS TO MY BOSS PREVIOUSLY!!

P/s : sorry for ABC & XXX this is to avoid the unnecessary from those parties.

Name: ABC

Section: Non Motor

VISION & MISSION:-

To acquire and/or enhance knowledge and/or interpersonal skill which able to increase human capital by dealing and/or engage with the respective party directly from times to times.

Problems - non motor section

Internally:-

Workstation and table are too small.
Limited usage of telephone and most of the phone are not really working properly due to cost cutting measurement.
The full capacity of the printers are not being utilized. E.g those machines are equipped with scanning and faxing utilities which are not being set up or utilized.
Air-cond temperature varies from time to time causing body reacting oddly and easily to fall sick.
Usage of software varies and not compatible amongst other delaying the work process. (e.g Open Office vs Ms Office; Ms Assess).
Lack of personnel who able to clear old (before year 2000) outstanding RI/Co statement.
Too many unnecessary / redundant recording.
Too many Ad-hoc projects.

Externally:-

Unnecessary stress / voice pollution from other section (BI).
BI work controller likes to open the window letting the office expose to hazy and polluted air.
Stationary was limited and de-motivating especially when non-working recycle stationary was given.
Appointment of adjuster by respective branches without giving prior notice HQ – double appointment of adjusters and there is no control at branches end, Classic example : XXX (marine cases).
Asymmetric information from branch on new intimation and/or policy schedule is not enclosed.
Too many procedures / control which slowing down the process.
Inconsistency of instructions.
Managerial level personnel whom do not do what they preached, “Lead by example”.
Ambiguity and/or uncertainty promises and/or empty promises which draining all the motivation and morale.
Manageress who do not take care of pride or morale of the employee. (Public harassment most of the time)

Business partner:-

Panel of adjusters:-

i. Not attentive and slow in their response.

ii. Unable to communicate virtually and having hard time in obtaining their long outstanding final report.

iii. Attending adjuster is rude to company’s client and always have communication breakdown with Insured / Agent.

iv. The attending adjuster rather new and inexperience in handling Insured / agent directly.

v. Adjusters have the mentality whereby they limiting and confining themselves into adjustment only whilst our expectation is more on pro-active and hassle free service to our Insured.

vi. Final report is not comprehensive and always follow up with supplementary.

Panel of solicitors:-

vii. Solicitors are not prompt in their response and always seeking for instruction without giving sufficient time; Last minute.

viii. Communication between HOD (company and solicitor) is not delivered to attending personnel occasionally causing miscommunication.

ix. XXXX (KL) personnel; ABC is rude.

Wo - Men

2009-04-11T21:49:00.000-07:00

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Peace.. pace..

2009-04-11T04:20:00.000-07:00

Today as usual walking to the Midvalley complex. There are full spectrum of people. I saw some local spoilt child (I guess I do not need to be so precise on what kind of race which keep wearing diapers since born), other races which contribute to the country, foreigners and etc.

Walking through the corridors, going up and down the escalator, traveling up and down via the lift. Nothing ambiguous everyone seemed to be headless. Headless, I mean there is no heading direction. Of course I'm also one of them. Walking in the pace which kinda pathetic and wondering what is happening to me? Am I being blended to this society? I thought I'm special, I'm contrarian?

Weird, yet that is the fact. Though this will not bring us to nowhere but the "Boleh land". Land of daydream.

Bully

2009-04-03T06:51:00.000-07:00

Bully, I guess everyone know and aware what the heck is this. Once you mentioned bully, everybody knows that a stronger species is overpowering another species. So it can be in terms of physically, mentally, emotionally, character, power, position, and many many aspect which I cant think of. Maybe spiritually?. Bottom line, many aspect of bully, tangible or intangible.

Most of the time we can easily observed with our naked eyes. Especially during our childhood times. Whereby there definitely will have a big boy or fierce gal amongst them. They will overpower the rest with their character. Forcing others to follow his/her lead. Maybe that is what people construe as "leadership" but it rather sound to be as bully. Using a certain advantage of individual to influence others.

In workplace, between colleague and amongst senior or trainees. I would pity my colleague whom always need to listen another colleague whom senior and tends to abuse her power to enable her to have more complacent life in office. Beside, in terms of communication and thought or opinions in a way carrying certain weight of bully. As many would aware, when the top personnel making certain speech, mostly others will listen regardless the content and context. Why? mainly because of his position and power in certain company. Again, I cant distinguish what is leadership and what is bully. Isn't it sound the same?

Let's go to our beloved country, which 24/7 with never ending warmth sun and dried up clouds. The best part on earth for vegetation, yet we neglect to pay much attention towards it. But I guess, that would be another chapter of the blog. OK.. Back to our mother land. We are living in harmony in multi racial with minimal tense. Dominant race obviously will empower their skin like to be their leader thought their credibility in doubt. Well, I guess I shouldn't say much on this being in a over sensitive country.

What about other country like the developed country? Don't you think or feel they sometimes abusing their power and bullying others. Some very obvious act would be the interference towards other sovereign. What is in previous headlines, I guess no body in this galaxy would not forget the war in Iraq. Wouldn't construe abusive of power (bully)? There are certain embargo, policy, treaty which deemed to be benefitual all yet, if you could sit calmly and think wisely, how and why they could written such ideal policy / treaty etc. (They had been that process esp in endangering the mother nature to enable them to be developed. Scarifying mother nature to gain their need.)

Bully actually does not work alone. It need to be coexist. In order the bully takes place it must have at least 2 party. In a nutshell, it take 2 tango. One initiate the act whilst other receive it. So whose fault for such occurrence? I would of the views, this is another chicken and egg issue.

Human.. humane

2009-04-02T08:20:00.000-07:00

Whilst the earth still traveling 107,218 km/h average orbital speed. We as human being the leader species in the world still lingering at the same level. Same type same category. Keep on killing other species to live, for fun & leisure and etc, some even killing their own species / kind for their own good. Aside from finding a way to life longer (leave a side those whom die young), human still remain human. Historically does not teach us much lesson. Perhaps we need a crisis like in the movie; The Day The Earth Stood Still.

Cancer

2009-04-02T08:10:00.000-07:00

Heard from here heard from there about the cancer. But nothing conclusively able to ascertain what is cancer and how it goes. So called modern technology can mere identify several and mostly of them still in vain.

What I believe, everyone has their own cancer cell. The cell is not contagious or modify or etc. To me, what i believe the cancer is an an innovative cell which created and grow by individual.

It is from the ordinary cell but due to certain lifestyle, thinking, dieting, and etc which cultured the ordinary cell to be unique.

A lot of movies and legend telling us, our human true potential only could be revealed when we are at the brisk of death. Therefore, I think I could safely says that cancer is cultured by individual over a period of time and whether it is harmful or otherwise; only God (if there any) will know.

Cancer is not the ending, but the beginning of evolution.

Caramel Macchiato

2009-03-15T09:10:00.000-07:00

Espresso mixture with caramel and steamed milk. A nostalgic taste. A taste that unable to forget. That was my first drinks in Starbucks Coffee with once my love one whom now a wife of other guy and also a mother of one (at the moment of writing this).

The taste is eccentric just like our life. Sweetness of the caramel, the bitterness of the espresso and not to forget the milky steam milk blended with vanilla which reminiscence us that life is full of flavor.

Atmosphere still remained the same, full with yuppies and server at the counter still mimicking foreign slang. Well, it would nice if they are mimicking the right way as normally they just created a new slang of their own and disgusted.

Well, great taste of coffee comes with great tales. Perhaps as the clock keeps on ticking, the joy is no longer limited to the taste itself or tales from the past but more to the companion.

You may refer to this url for further information of Caramel Macchiato
http://www.starbucks.com/retail/nutrition_beverage_detail.asp?selProducts={AECEA845-AB44-47FA-AE12-BB3ECB78A63F}

One half full glass of water

2009-03-02T21:38:00.000-08:00

So is the glass filled half by water, or the glass is half full with air.

Framework?

Content?

Context?

17.02.09

2009-02-17T06:13:00.001-08:00

Today I updated my C.V and sent to a company. Don’t really put much hope on it. Just do it for the sake of doing. Well, it is also not a bad thing to test on the market.

As time goes by, I tend to forget to pamper myself worse still, failed to upgrade myself in terms of mentally, knowledge, spiritual and etc. Time and tides does not wait for no one and I’m not excluded anyway.

Kentut

2009-02-09T20:53:00.001-08:00

Seorang perempuan tua berjumpa seorang doktor dan bertanya,

Doktor, saya ada masalah dengan perut yang selalu berangin, tapi tak pernah menganggu saya kentut saya tak pernah berbau, dan senyap. Jadi saya selalu kentut.

Doktor meminta penjelasan lebih lanjut dari perempuan tua itu dan perempuan tua itu berkata, Sebenarnya, saya sudah kentut sebanyak 20 kali ketika berada dihadapan doktor. Mungkin doktor tak tau sebab kentut saya tidak berbau dan senyap.

Doktor itu menjawab, Ok, sekarang ambil pil ini dan datang jumpa Saya minggu depan.

Seminggu selepas itu, perempuan tua itu kembali.

Tuan Doktor, panggilnya sambil marah-marah, Saya tak tau pil apa yang yang doktor beri pada saya, tapi sekarang kentut saya walaupun masih senyap tapi baunya sangat busuk.

Doktor itu membalas, Bagus!!! kita sudah mengobati hidung makcik yang tersumbat, sekarang, mari saya periksa telinga makcik.

Laki Merajuk..... ....?

2009-02-09T20:52:00.001-08:00

Seorang laki yg pendiam tetiba merajuk...Dah 3 hari tak bercakap ngan
bininya...Suatu ptg bininya pun bertanya;

Bini: Kenapa U?
Laki : uhhhhh!!luat! !!
Bini: Pasai i kuar pergi kedai tak bagi tau u ker?
Laki: Tak!
Bini: Pasai mak bapak i datang ngan adik2 tinggal sampai 2 minggu ker?
Laki: Tak!
Bini: Pasai keter U, i bagi pancit ker?
Laki: Tak
Bini: Err!pasai i amik duit u RM10,000 tak bagi tau u ker?
Laki: tak!
Bini: Pasai i tak iron baju u ker?
Laki: Tak
Bini: Pasai i tak pernah masak kat u selama nie ker?
Laki: Tak!
Bini: Pasai i selalu suruh u beli lauk bungkus ker?
Laki: Tak!
Bini: Pasai i tak nak anak ker?
Laki: Tak!
Bini: Pasai u kena basuh baju kita ker?
Laki: Tak!
Bini: Abis tue???awat nie???
laki: Err! Naper u dah bulih semayang tak cakap i pun!...
Bini: ???????

Married Too Long

2009-02-08T20:20:00.001-08:00

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting over lunch and the conversation turns
to their relationships. They decided that night to surprise their men.. All three would wear a black leather bra and thong,
stiletto heels, and a mask over their eyes.

A few days later they meet up for lunch.

The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said, "You are the woman of my dreams. I love you." Then we made love all night long.

The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather outfit, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat.
When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex for hours.

The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. He walked in the door, looked at me and said, "What's for dinner, Batman?"

hehehehe.

The common denominator of success is...

2009-02-07T22:10:00.001-08:00

Simple Truths Newsletter by Mac Anders

Brian Tracy's The Power of Discipline

HI

Because self discipline affects so many facets of your life. It affects your ability to reach your goals; it affects your personal health, your time management, your ability to manage your finances and even your character.
Brian Tracy is one of America's leading authorities on the development of human potential. He speaks to over 250,000 people a year, and is also a best-selling author who has written 25 books.
I'm honored that Brian has written a book for Simple Truths titled: The Power of Discipline...7 Ways It Can Change Your Life.
Today, I'd like to share a brief excerpt from Brian's chapter on Self Discipline and Goals.
Enjoy!

An excerpt from The Power of Discipline
by Brian Tracy
THE SEVEN-STEP FORMULA FOR ACHIEVING GOALS:
There are seven simple steps you can follow to set and achieve goals. There are more complex and detailed goal-achieving methodologies, but the Seven Step Method will enable you to accomplish ten times more than you have ever accomplished before, and far faster than you can imagine.
(1) Decide exactly what you want. Be specific. If you want to increase your income, decide upon a specific amount of money rather than just "make more money."
(2) Write it down. A goal that is not in writing is like smoke; it drifts away and disappears. It is unsubstantial and useless. It has no force, effect or power. But a written goal becomes something that you can touch, read and modify if necessary.
(3) Set a deadline for your goal. Pick a reasonable time period and write down the rate at which you want to achieve it. If it is a big goal, set a final deadline and then set sub-deadlines or interim steps between where you are today and where you want to be in the future.
A deadline serves as a "forcing system." Just as you often get more done when you are under the pressure of a specific deadline, your subconscious mind works faster and more efficiently when you have decided that you want to achieve a goal by a specific time.
The rule is: "There are no unrealistic goals; there are only unrealistic deadlines."
What do you do if you don't achieve your goal by your deadline? Simple. You set another deadline. A deadline is a "guestimate." Sometimes you will achieve your goal before the deadline, sometimes on the deadline, and sometimes after the deadline.
(4) Make a list of everything you can think of that you could possibly do to achieve your goal. Henry Ford said, "The biggest goal can be accomplished if you break it down into enough small steps." Make a list of the obstacles and difficulties you will have to overcome, both external and internal, to achieve your goal.
Make a list of the additional knowledge and skills you will require to achieve your goal.
Make a list of the people whose cooperation and support you will require to achieve your goal.
Make a list of everything you can think of that you will have to do, and then add to this list as new tasks and responsibilities occur. Keep writing until your list is complete.
Napoleon Hill once said, "The most common reason that people fail to achieve their goals is because they do not make new plans to replace the old ones when the situation changes."
(5) Organize the list by both sequence and priority.
A list of activities organized by sequence requires that you determine what you need to do first, what you need to do second, and what you need to do later on.
A list organized by priority enables you to determine what is more important and what is less important.
Sometimes sequence and priority are the same, but often they are not. For example, if you want to start a particular kind of business, the first item in order of sequence might be purchasing a book or enrolling in a course on the type of business.
But what is most important is your ability to develop a business plan based on complete market research. This will provide the information needed to gather the appropriate resources to launch the business.
(6) Take action on your plan immediately. The difference between winners and losers in life is simply that winners take the first step. They are action-oriented. They're willing to take action with no guarantee of success. They're willing to face failure and disappointment. But they're always willing to take action.
(7) Do something every day that moves you in the direction of your major goal. This is the key behavior that will guarantee your success. Seven days a week, 365 days a year, do something, do anything that moves you at least one step closer to the goal that is most important to you at the time.
When you do something every day toward the direction of your goal, you develop momentum. This momentum, this sense of forward motion, motivates you, inspires you and energizes you. As you gain momentum, it is easier to take even more steps toward your goal. In no time at all, you will have developed the discipline of setting and achieving your goals. It soon becomes easy and automatic. You develop the habit and the discipline of working towards your goals all the time.

Click here for more information on The Power of Discipline.

To Life,

Mac Anderson
Founder, Simple Truths

The article above was excerpted from the book The Power of Discipline by Brian Tracy. It is reprinted here with permission. You may share this story as long as you do not edit the content; leave the links and this resource box intact.

Insurance - Element

2009-02-07T21:07:00.000-08:00

• LAW OF INSURANCE CONTRACTS
• What is a Contract?
According to Wikipedia:- ‘A contract is a legally binding exchange of promises or agreement between parties that the law will enforce. Contract law is based on the Latin phrase pacta sunt servanda (pacts must be kept).Breach of contract is recognised by the law and remedies can be provided. Almost everyone makes contracts every day. Contract law can be classified, as is habitual in civil law systems, as part of a general law of obligations (along with tort, unjust enrichment or restitution).’

http://www.lawsociety.com.au/page.asp?partid=6623
“A contract is a legally binding agreement between two or more persons. For example, if you purchase any goods; if you buy a house; if you engage a builder to carry out work on your house; if you borrow money; if you order goods or machinery from a manufacturer, these are all types of contracts.

The law of contracts is vital to the law which affects consumers. It is a complex area and is governed both by the “general law” – that is, laws which have evolved from decisions made over the years by Judges in relation to contract disputes and secondly, “legislation” or “statutory law” – laws introduced by government. Examples of these types of statutory laws are the Sale of Goods Act, the Trade Practices Act, the Fair Trading Act, the Credit Act and the Contracts Review Act”

And if you go to the other site, they might state this :-
“A contract is an agreement between at least two parties with the intention to create a legal relationship. Within the contract are specified terms and should either party break these terms then they are in breach of contract. If one party decides that the breach is important enough then they can rescind the contract and seek compensation through the courts. If the courts agree then they will award damages and maybe costs to the party against whom the breach occurred.”

This thing may go on forever and each and every site will tell the same things whereby all contract can be done on either written or verbally and must be an agreement whereby parties at least 2 (two) parties with the intention to create a legal relationship and there are few elements which is essential before it can be construe as a Contract.

To be continue…//

Relationship

2009-02-07T20:59:00.001-08:00

In each relationship which failed, the involved party tends to seek for external factor which lead to the failure. Trying to comfort themselves with the excuses which they may find. In most of the time, guy are the species whom easily to be accounted for the failure.

However, it is essential part of the failed relationship is not more whose fault leading the failure or to start blaming but more to what you have learned from the failed relationship and how you adapt it in future.

It is common to be sad, low, down, moody and whatever term you opt to used but let it be minimal and try to get back on track. Try to get back your composure and analyse as the methodology we have learned in Science or even in commerce.

Thence, try to drill deep in back of your mind not to repeat the same.

if

2009-02-04T06:59:00.001-08:00

If,

If given a choice of marriage, what would like it to be?

Photographs session seems to be essential for our community recently. Regardless shooting done by those pro till to the amateur. Of course there would some whom prefer to D.I.Y and some just drop the idea. But for those whom drop the idea would also literally being drop dead when facing the partner esp the Eve.

For me, if given a choice to choose the preference of the photographs session I think I would to choose those service provider which able to frame the happy moment with less make up or modification or digital tricks yet able to maintain the original, natural and exquisite qualities. How great is the photographs is not depends on the digital alteration but more on how great the photographer framing the great angle of the great person. Gosh..another commercialized cultured.

Door game:-

Thanks to the mass again, I believe we have been much influenced with the tricks games towards the brotherhood of the groom when their hero try to

Tea ceremony:-

The banquet:-

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Lunar Year

2009-02-02T06:02:00.001-08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!

Kong Hei Fat Choy!

Gong Xi Fatt Cai!

This is what normally being greet during this festive season. Of course as a normal Chinese regardless what is your religion is, would be celebrating the same. Celebrating a new lunar year each year with new zodiac representing the each different calendar year.

This year kinda out of elementary, as I having a thought of visiting my ancestor graveyard. Feeling them would be kinda lonely during this festive year though there will be prayers conducted in the temple or at individual house. It may sound creepy but after a chat with my mum, I discovered that was one of abandoned culture by those Peranakan. My mum started to open her chapter of life on the code and conduct during this auspicious year. I found out slowly one and another culture practiced during the donkey years had been neglected. One of them was just mentioned earlier.

I believe most of us also aware and understand the development of the technology, cost of living and stages of life do amend the way our culture especially then those conduct would hit our beloved pocket. To heritage and maintain certain culture, of course that would need certain price to be paid off.

Spirit of Chinese New year is not just greeting with half pass six wishes with hunger eye preying on the red packet namely “Ang Pow” with high expectation on the dollars and/or cents in the same. Kids have been cultivated with wrong idea of Chinese New Year. Sleeping disorder, gambling, drinking, smoking, clubbing, insane driving on the road, so called reunion dinner at restaurant or gathering on highly commercialized café / pub or restaurant or even having wasteful feast would not seemed to be good role model to the next generation. What are we celebrating actually?

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lOvE

2009-01-23T20:39:00.001-08:00

I gathered interesting feedback towards the definition of love (Ai). Some of them say Ai is predestined by God, some says it is based on their own action to earn those Ai. Some would have more factual yet vague in terms of evidence to establish the Ai. Mostly likely they would conclude Ai is a feeling which caused by the released of certain hormone in our body and those hormone is hardly to be quantified.

Let bragged to another chapter of Ai. Well for most of our beast thought Ai would more on physical mode whereby there must have more than one creature regardless whether same gender or otherwise conducting sexual relationship (i.e make out or make Ai or have sex).

In this era it is common to have the Adam or Eve themselves to have their own way of seeking Ai. Some could be erotically (thanks to the influence of media) and some just a normal mundane sex. So, whether they achieved their Ai in accordance to their religious / conscience or against it that would be another time to brag on. However, I would like to emphasize those creature seek Ai via physically whether via a proper channel or oppositely. This type of person would much more be easily satisfied compare to another type of person on next paragraph. I guess this is more to a guy personalities easily satisfy with sex.

Some would have abstract way in obtaining Ai, which is really scientists would need to crack their skulls to identify and monitor it but eventually they would find anything. To some of them able to gather Ai from another party via their feeling which mentioned there is no concrete explanation on the hormone changes, behaviour or even attitude when they face someone they love. For them, every touch, every word and thought from another party would be digested by their receptor which God knows how it works. I guess most of the guys also having the same problem. I guess this kind of pattern would suit more to female.

Some Ai we can see from our daily life though we choose to be blinded with others but I ain’t say much here (that would be 1,000,000 words write up I guess). Actually there is no exact science towards Ai and there is almost no way to quantify or qualify the same. However, I strongly believe Ai need at least 2 souls and it must be mutually, unconditionally and sincerely straight from the heart. Any Ai with an intention is a FAKE and only would tentamount to never ending suffering, pain misery and agony

For those still in the cat and mice game, beware and be cautious. What’s round come around.

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Right or wrong?

2009-01-23T19:47:00.001-08:00

What is right and what is wrong. It is something that in accordance to some scripts or some mantera or even bible or quran from the past has the absolute definition on the same?

We are now living in a challenging society and environment whereby we as a human established many kind of regulation / act to punish a person for their wrong doing. The wrong doing is determined by a group so called the learned person or even legally via parliament and so sort. Some called the system as democracy; some said is monarchy as only a group of family governing for ages and so say dictator whilst other don’t give a damn on what is going on as long they able to survive and their source of income intact.

So back to the main issue on what is right and what is wrong.

In our life we constantly make decision whether it is instantly or not. Right or wrong.

However what is the barometer towards the decision made. Some tell “as long as my conscious is right, then it is ok”.

One thing for sure, whenever thing turn pretty good, the individual will self claimed after deep consideration, he has made a right decision. However, when the thing turns sour, he definitely will use internal and external factor which cause the failure as the defense. Perhaps that is normal for creature named Human.

Are we in the position to comment or react in accordance to the filtered news?

Right or wrong depends on individual context and content towards certain issue.

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Context or content?

2009-01-22T07:05:00.001-08:00

Gosh! I always confused between context and content. Some says context is more important than content and some oppositely. However, to me both are relatively important. As each can’t stand alone, as the saying it needs two to tango and a few to disco (the disco part, I make it out myself).

My understanding on the context would be the framework of our thinking whilst the content is referring to our thought which normally is well blended from our input in terms of experience, understanding, feeling or guts feeling.

Let take an example of the context in our daily life and I presume a water bottle would be a fine illustration. Normally, as we are aware the bottle shape would be permanent and the liquid (content) which being poured in will be taking the empty space in the bottle and building up the shape as the bottle as the original empty bottle. Therefore, at most of the time the bottle (context) is more important than the content.

As comparison, I would like to use a balloon as medium of comparison with the bottle. Even 3 years old kid could tell you, the shape of the balloon once being poured in some liquid (content) in. The shape is varies and non permanent. Perhaps such context can be easily associated with the “lalang” person. However, that would be another session of writing I guess.

Well, that is all about the context. So what about the content? As the above illustration I used liquid as medium. To avoid confusion, let’s stick to the liquid for a moment at least for now or this few lines. As you see, if the context having its own feature, the content will be shape in accordance to the context likewise in contrary. However this only applicable to normal liquid or normal routine.

Of course in our daily life it is never fixed or same in every nature. There always spices around to affect the daily life. Whether the spices bring good or bad that would another story to brag on. As our experience, understanding, feeling changed the quality of the liquid will change too. Sometimes it will be in burning hot temperature even hotter than the volcanoes larva and sometimes icy cool cooler than mentos mint. Some of the changes will also give certain impact to the context and that is why when we occasionally heard about mental breakdown or mood swing like tarzan, hyper and the list goes on. That is only about the changes in the temperature but not in terms of the quality of the liquid, whether is toxic, extremely pure, radioactive and etc.

Based on the above, I believe cultivating the right context would be easier instead of controlling the quality of the content. However the content itself have the ability to shape the context should it is more supreme but is hardly to cultivate as at this material time, people hard tend to hunt for things which temporary and forget about their own self development.

Corrupted mind will lead to corrupted act, speech and etc. Therefore, after some times, it is advisable to purify the context and content and please be reminded to use the suitable and compatible detergent to do so. You can’t use Sunlight Glo to brush your teeth isn’t it?

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anubis

Test

Condom

Excuses Excuses !!

migraine

Coupe

Break up

Watched few screens of a HK movie and sort of fond with one of the scripts....

Long lost moment

Watching a movie named Uninvited

Still Thought

Parenting

Funny yet it's the truth! (amended)

VISION & MISSION:-

Wo - Men

Peace.. pace..

Bully

Human.. humane

Cancer

Caramel Macchiato

One half full glass of water

17.02.09

Kentut

Laki Merajuk..... ....?

Married Too Long

The common denominator of success is...

Brian Tracy's The Power of Discipline

An excerpt from The Power of Discipline by Brian Tracy

Insurance - Element

Relationship

if

Lunar Year

lOvE

Right or wrong?

Context or content?

An excerpt from The Power of Discipline
by Brian Tracy